The Art of Healthy Venting

Welcome to "Show Me Your Team," a podcast dedicated to building healthy leaders and teams. In today's episode, we'll be delving into a crucial topic: how to walk someone through venting. Before we dive into the details, let's set the stage for our understanding of leadership.

Leadership, as we see it here at "Show Me Your Team," is a comprehensive process that involves leading oneself well before leading teams. True leadership extends beyond steering a collective toward a common goal; it begins with self-leadership and progresses to one-on-one interactions—the leadership of others. Today, our focus is on guiding someone through the process of venting, a vital aspect of building a culture of honor within a team.

In the past, I overlooked the significance of providing guidance on venting, brushing it off while emphasizing the elimination of gossip within teams. It took a humbling experience for me to realize that venting is an opportunity—a cry for help, a chance for emotional expression, and a moment of self-awareness.

Christen, our expert in today's discussion, will walk us through the practical aspects of guiding someone through venting. But before we get into that, let me share why I consider this topic so pivotal.

Venting, when done correctly, is not just about expressing frustration; it's a means of fostering self-awareness. One book that profoundly influenced my perspective is Gabor Maté's "When the Body Says No." Maté explores the mind-body connection, demonstrating that unexpressed emotions, especially anger and frustration, can impact physical well-being.

His research highlighted the importance of creating a space for individuals to vent, allowing them to express their emotions and, in turn, promoting self-awareness. This insight prompted me to revisit my approach to team culture, leading me to call back athletic departments to emphasize the value of healthy venting.

Now, let's turn our attention to the practical aspects of guiding someone through venting with Christen's insights.

Christen introduces a powerful tool: P.E.T. (Physical, Emotional, Thought), emphasizing the need to consider the whole person when navigating through venting sessions. Recognizing physical states, understanding emotional responses, and exploring thoughts create a holistic understanding of the venting experience.

Christen discusses the significance of creating a middle ground for healthy venting, steering clear of extremes like gossip or complete isolation. She dives into the three components of P.E.T., starting with the physical. Recognizing the impact of biological cycles, hunger, or fatigue on emotional states is crucial. Christen emphasizes the importance of acknowledging these factors for a comprehensive understanding of one's emotions.

The emotional aspect delves into the intricacies of feelings, emphasizing the value of acknowledging and addressing emotions without judgment. Journaling or seeking insights from trusted individuals, or "yodas," can aid in processing these emotions.

Thoughts, the final component, involve giving oneself grace, exploring thoughts in a non-judgmental manner. Christen advocates for the use of tools like writing down conversations or talking to oneself in front of a mirror to dissect and understand the underlying issues.

She introduces the concept of the expectation-action gap, a critical moment where venting can either lead to positive self-awareness or a negative coping tendency. By employing the P.E.T. tool, individuals can navigate this gap effectively.

The key takeaway is that venting is an opportunity for self-awareness, creating space for individuals to understand their emotions, explore their values, and make informed decisions on engagement and boundary-setting.

In conclusion, this episode sheds light on the transformative power of healthy venting within teams. By embracing the principles of P.E.T. and recognizing the mind-body connection, we can foster a culture of honor, where individuals express their emotions constructively, leading to increased self-awareness and stronger team dynamics.

Thank you for joining us today on "Show Me Your Team." Stay tuned for more insightful discussions on building healthy leaders and teams.