Honor Part 2

Welcome back. This month you’ll be learning to master the principle of honor. I believe that out of all the principles, honor is the one that is the very essence of culture and team, so I’m very excited to share this month with you.

If you’ve heard of honor you might believe it’s simply being respectful and nice to people. Most people think that honoring others means you keep a smile on or never lean into conflict even when an issue surfaces. They think that honoring others means you display respect out of an act of loyalty or obligation no matter what is going on. In fact, the very first definition of honor in the dictionary says as a noun is “high respect or great esteem” and as a verb it is to “regard with great respect.”

And respect is defined as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities or achievements.”

This is not correct. It missed the point and it only scratches the surface of why honor is so important for mastering culture.

Feeling deep admiration for someone based on their abilities is not bad. Regarding someone with great respect for their achievements is not bad.

But these things do not build a culture of honor. these things are tiny moments that can be found in a culture of honor. They are the effects of the cause.

Real honor, is, in its simplest form, the art of team.

If I were to point to a few examples of teams who understand culture of honor i’d forst point to The nation's highest military award for valor - the Medal of Honor - presented by the president in Congress' name. By law, it is only awarded to U.S. service members who distinguish themselves “through conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty” can receive the medal.

heres another one

The U.S. marines also point to the true essence of honor - they define it as abide by an uncompromising code of integrity; to respect human dignity; and to have respect and concern for each other.

to abide by an uncompromising code of integrity; to respect human dignity; and to have respect and concern for each other.

The US Navy seals -

I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from others. Uncompromising integrity is my standard.

In essence - honor is the uncompromising commitment to treating yourself and others according to the baseline value of worthy.

placing others' above your own while maintaining the highest standards of personal integrity in all circumstances.

the utter lack of respect for the dignity of individual human life.

General Douglas McArthur described that the worst moments in human history happened by this:

heres a final description i found

When we deal with ourselves and each other, we should do so with the sense of awe that arises in the presence of something holy and sacred. For that is what human beings are.

lets read that again

And this isn’t just in regard to other people. This is regard to yourself.

When we deal with ourselves and each other, we should do so with the sense of awe that arises in the presence of something holy and sacred. For that is what human beings are.

All of these statements on honor point to us 2 things

deciding in our mind that we believe every person matters,

and then going about our day living that out in thought and action.

That is honor.

Thinking of others, thinking of ourselves, talking about others, talking about ourselves, working with others, working with ourselves, relating with others, relating with ourselves, according to the value that is set in stone. our worth as human beings.

Honor is not just about being nice and friendly to coworkers. or to self. True honor is about treating others and yourself from a deeply rooted and unshakable belief that every person matters. Every person is here on this planet for a reason. And even if you or people you know or people you know of - have yet to live according to that reality, honor provides a lifeline of belief that doesn’t allow anyone to be written off.

Honoring self leads to believing in yourself. even on their worst days.

Honoring others leads to believing in others. even on their worst days.

Honoring self leads to connecting with ourself. when we go above and beyond our own expectations and when we miss our own expectations.

Honoring others leads to connecting with others. even when we lose trust with them.

Let’s examine how this works in practice. Let’s assume you want to honor others. but then, as is the case every day, life happens.

At 7am you realize you forgot to call your best friend on their birthday yesterday and your thoughts start going towards a narrative of “I’m the worst friend ever.”

At 9am you realize your spouse forgot to pay a bill and now you’re charged double as a consequence.

At noon you meet with your boss and find out you got a massive raise for all your performance this past year.

At 2:15pm you realize you’ve been waiting for your colleageu for 15 minutes and this is the 4th time they’ve been late to a meeting.

At 5pm you tune into some news and you see a politician being talked about that makes you lose respect for them.

This is a normal day in that there were a lot of moments that your or other’s worth as a human being could be increased or decreased based on their actions or behavior or even what someone said about who they are.

And 99% of people would allow the level of honor towards themselves or others swing wildly up and down throughout the day based on whether or not expectations were hit - like getting a raise or someone being late . . . again.

It’s easy to allow external accomplishments, achievments or results inform our own self worth. And it’s good to get excited about hitting a new milestone in your career, but when we attach our value, the degree we honor ourself, to WHAT we do, we give the option to lose that value as well. What happens to your own self worth when you lose that job?

do you see the importance of establishing honor towards ourself (and ultimately others) on the baseline of human beings (before they DO anything) are sacred, worthy, important and holy.

Your spouse, who messed up again, and didn’t meet your expectation, again, is a human being with a solidifed level of worth. And honor has an answer to how to adress missed expecatiotns.

Once again, honor doesn’t mean we sweep errors under the rug or never address conflict.

Honor guides us in how to effectively embrace conflict, build connection, and help lift others up.

when we don’t meet our own expectations, honor doesn’t mean we say it’s okay that we broke a commitment with ourselves. it guides us to how to course correct effectively.

Human beings are way more than robots. Our behaviors and actions will never be robotic. They will ebb and flow.

Instead of deriving our value from WHAT we do, we can instead decide to move from a place of valuing WHO we are and then relate with ourselves and others each day in a consistent way that elevates life together as a whole.

Building a culture of honor - requires one thing - to simply commit to becoming the kind of person who carries a culture of honor.

It’s an inner work, that no one will ever see, but is the most important work you will do in your life.

There is no law in our world that says we need to allow WHAT we do to dictate the value of WHO we are.

There is no law saying we need to break connection with someone who messes up. Perhaps demoted, or taken out of a leadership position, or spoken with, or given a consequence - but all of those things can be done with honor.

When we make a mistake, or perform sub par, we simply choose to remind ourselves “this is who you are.”

When others make a mistake or don’t meet our expectations, we simply choose to maintain honor towards them as a human being, and watch that guide your thougths and actions towards connection.

Honor is the heart beat of team.

It helps call us up when we miss expectations.

It helps to ground us when we exceed expectations.

If honor isn’t proactively established as the foundation of a team, then perfection will be by default.

And true teams aren’t built by perfection. They are built by wholeheartedness.

So you get to decide that you will honor yourself.

you get do decide that you will honor others.

If you do this, you will build the most unshakable teams the world has ever seen.

And this month I’m going to show you how.

But for now, step fully into your day.

You just leveled up 1% as a leader and culture builder.

See you soon.