11 | Honor Needs Discipline

Read the lesson.

Welcome back. Before we move on from honoring self towards honoring others,

we're going to focus on a key factor that honor cannot exist without.

And that's action.

DOING.

More specifically discipline.

Or doing the thing even when you don't want to do the thing.

Sometimes doing the actions that line up with WHO we are is the harder thing to do. Or it takes more effort, energy.

It requires you to extend your comfort zone.

And this is why discipline is honor's best friend.

Because when we strengthen the muscle of discipline

we strengthen the culture of honor inside of us

because we DO the thing even when we don't want to do the thing.

And let me remind us that Honor cannot exist without alignment in both thought and action.

Remember the Navy Seal's language around honor?

"I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from others. Uncompromising integrity is my standard."

The ability to control … my actions … regardless of circumstances.

See how action oriented this language is?

See how much ownership is in here?

I love it.

Here's why this is our final focus in the practice of honoring self.

How easy do we break our internal commitments when external circumstances don't line up in our life?

Later on we're actually going to spend an entire month on this but I wanted to take today to plant the seed.

And let me frame this another way.

There's a difference between having a daily practice, and having a daily routine.

We are about building a daily practice, not a routine.

And here's why:

Daily practices are flexible. - Means this is what I'm committed to. I orient my day around this. I show up for myself in these ways. This is me keeping myself on the hook to do my inner work, so I can show up for the outer work.

Routines are fragile. They break whenever an external circumstance shifts. For example, how many people were "doing great with their diet or workout" until they traveled. And what happened with travel? Their routine broke.

But people who have a practice - they get ahead of travel, they make a plan, they make a plan B.

There's nothing more honoring - than a leader who stays committed to their own personal practice, who is disciplined. Because they show up for themselves.

Here's what's not honoring. Someone who has no boundaries. They think that what is honoring is to be pulled by every whim of a request from the outside world. They think they can put on everyone else's oxygen mask before even putting their own on.

They justify dishonoring their own internal commitments for the sake of "someone else needed me"

And this is exactly like the airplane oxygen mask analogy.

It's a false belief that really believes that hey, I can show up for the people in my life, on a consistent basis and give and give and give, without ever getting my own internal world sorted.

And I know this well because this is my default. To simply wake up and just be in respond mode all. day. long.

No boundaries.

Breaking my own internal commitments because something else "came up"

There's two things that seem to make building up a practice hard.

The inability to say no - or set boundaries.

And the comfort crisis. This is the lack of discipline. We break our own internal commitments because we're traveling, or someone baked me something and I don't want to be rude, or someone offered me a drink so I drank, or it's cold outside so I don't want to go to the gym,

So let's lean in here.

And here's the deal. This is my journey right now.

This is the human condition.

And not many people want to look these two things in the face.

But what if we did.

What if we were people, leaders, that had freedom, 1. Not be needed all the time and live in reaction mode all day long. And 2. Simply do hard things. And grow an inner confidence that I don't make excuses anymore

How much honor and respect would you have for yourself, if you did those two things?

How much better would you be able to love others, knowing your cup was full? How much better would you show up for others in your life?

That is possible.

So let's keep discipline simple.

Let's go back to your foundation. WHO you are.

What is one part about who you are, that could be lived out in action DAILY?

This is your first thing to figure out.

One part about who you are, that could be lived out in action daily.

And now:

You're going honor yourself by doing this action every single day for the rest of this month.

1. This is going to require you to set boundaries of time, and even say no, because you are the kind of person who honors yourself, and keeps yourself on the hook for what you've committed to. And believe others around you will love that you're doing this for yourself!

2. And 2, you're going to lean on discipline on the days where you don't want to do this thing. You're going to do this thing even on days where for some reason it's harder.

And this is where honor starts.

This is where saying who we are and living out who we are in action begins.

With one thing.

Because at some point down the road... there's going to be a 2nd thing you add. And the honor you have for yourself will continue to grow.

… Now you have the option to stop here and carry on with your day.

But I'm going to quote on quote stay after class and give a few examples for anyone might need some help finding out their one action of discipline:

Here's a few examples I've done in my own life.

The last 3 years I've really leaned into putting myself on the hook for things, not breaking commitments, and becoming a person who really carries a sense of honor. And the discipline part has been the hardest thing.

My mind seems to be the healthier half of honor. I know who I am,

but the action part is what needs some work haha.

So a few examples:

Mindset training. I am a woman of faith. But I tend to allow my actions to be more representative of a woman of worry. I tend to try and control things, and I get upset when things don't go my way, I don't trust, I won't let go, and I don't pray. So I put myself on the hook to focusing my mind on faith as the first and last part of my day. So no phones. No escaping view a screen.

Black coffee.

12k steps every day.

Writing.

Cold showers.

Eating only whole foods.

Affirming my husband.

Let's say this:

If we only stopped at honoring ourself in our mind,

but continuously broke commitments to ourselves,

we are stunting the growth of honor in ourselves.

We'll never reach a new level.

Honor is meant to be a growth thing.

To go from one level to the next level. To constantly be expanding.

So we should see behavior change happen at the rate of our mindset change.

If our behavior doesn't change, our mindset will be stunted.

We'll only be able to reach the level of honor our actions reveal.

I'll say that again.

We'll only be able to reach the level of honor our actions reveal.

So on that note, that's all for today, let this message sink in.

Become an embracer of discipline - of doing the thing you don't want to do.

Become someone who keeps themself on the hook for showing up for themself.

And you'll create a thriving culture of honor around you.