2 | Strategic Conflict - How To Show Up For It

Welcome back.

I want to start today with a story from the movie Lone Survivor, based on the true events of Operation Red Wings in Afghanistan.

Four Navy SEALs—Marcus Luttrell, Michael Murphy, Danny Dietz, and Matthew Axelson—are on a reconnaissance mission high in the mountains. Their job is to locate a high-value Taliban target. But something goes wrong. They're discovered by local goat herders, including a young boy.

Now they're faced with an impossible decision that will determine whether they live or die, and potentially impact the entire mission.

What happens next is one of the most powerful examples of group healthy conflict I've ever seen.

These four elite warriors—men trained to follow orders without question—sit in a circle and engage in strategic conflict. They're not arguing for the sake of arguing. Lives are on the line. The mission is on the line. And they know that the decision they make in the next few minutes will have consequences they'll have to live with—or die with.

Marcus argues for one option. Murphy pushes back with another perspective. Dietz weighs in with his concerns. Axelson adds his voice. Nobody backs down just because someone disagrees with them. Nobody stays quiet to avoid conflict. Each man brings his training, his experience, his gut instinct to the table because they know the decision is too important for anyone to hold back.

They debate. They challenge each other's reasoning. They consider the tactical implications, the moral implications, the strategic implications. And when they finally reach a decision, they all commit to it completely—even those who disagreed with the choice.

That, right there, is group healthy conflict at its finest. And it's exactly what we're talking about today.

Today we're discussing how you, as a team member, can contribute to this kind of strategic decision-making. Whether you've been recently promoted to the leadership table where these decisions are made, or you're someone whose voice matters in team discussions—this is for you.

And by the way, mastering this is exactly how you get promoted. Leaders notice team members who can contribute meaningfully to strategic discussions.

What Made Those SEALs Effective

Think about what made that moment in Lone Survivor so powerful. These weren't just four guys sharing opinions. They were four trained professionals who understood that their individual perspectives, when brought together in honest conflict, would lead to a better decision than any one of them could make alone.

Each SEAL showed up with:

• Their own tactical assessment of the situation

• The courage to defend their position when challenged

• The wisdom to listen to perspectives that differed from their own

• The commitment to fully support whatever decision the team made

This is exactly what your team needs from you in strategic discussions.

Your Role in Group Healthy Conflict

Here's what you need to understand: when you're invited to strategic discussions, you're not there to be a silent observer. You're there because your perspective has value. Your job is to help the decision-maker make the best possible decision.

Just like those SEALs, you bring a unique vantage point that others don't have. Maybe you're closer to the customers. Maybe you see operational challenges the leadership team doesn't see. Maybe you have technical expertise that's crucial to the decision.

But that requires you to show up differently than you might be used to. It requires you to engage like those SEALs engaged—with preparation, courage, and commitment.

Four Non-Negotiables for Team Members

One: Show Up Prepared With Your Own Thoughts

Don't wing it. If you don't know the agenda or the decisions to be made in this meeting, go ask for that agenda. Do your homework. Come with your own perspective formed, not just ready to agree with whoever speaks first or loudest.

This means doing the thinking work before you walk into the room. What's your take on the situation? What do you see that others might miss? What questions do you have? What data have you gathered?

Those SEALs didn't just show up and hope for the best. Each one had processed the tactical situation through his own training and experience. They came prepared to contribute something valuable to the discussion.

Two: Show Up Ready to Defend Those Thoughts

This is where most people fail. They have an opinion, but the moment they get pushback, they fold. "Oh, never mind. You're probably right."

No. If you believe something, be ready to answer the "why" questions. And not just with your opinion, but with your data, your research, your reasoning. If you can't defend your perspective when challenged, why should anyone take it seriously?

Notice in Lone Survivor—when one SEAL challenges another's position, the response isn't to back down. The response is to explain the reasoning, to dig deeper into the logic, to help everyone understand the thinking behind the position.

That's what healthy conflict looks like. Ideas get stronger when they're tested, not weaker.

Three: Show Up Ready to Listen Just as Much as You Speak

Healthy conflict isn't about winning arguments—it's about finding the best solution. That means truly listening to other perspectives, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Be curious about viewpoints that differ from yours. Ask clarifying questions. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.

Watch that scene again and notice how those SEALs listen to each other. They're not just waiting to poke holes in the other person's argument. They're genuinely considering whether the other person sees something they're missing.

That's the mark of someone who's truly committed to the best outcome rather than being right.

Four: Be Ready to Buy Into the Final Decision

Here's the deal: once the decision is made, you're all in. You will either agree with the decision, or you will disagree and if you truly have a problem with it, ask questions and seek to understand until you're bought in.

You don't get to undermine the decision later because it wasn't your preference. You don't get to say "I told you so" if it doesn't work out. You contributed to the process, now you support the outcome.

This is exactly what happened with those SEALs. Once they made their decision, every single one of them committed to it completely—even those who had argued for a different course of action. That's what separates professionals from amateurs.

The Mindset Shift You Need to Make

Here's what I want you to understand: being invited to strategic discussions is both an honor and a responsibility. You're being trusted with decisions that will impact the team, the organization, maybe even lives.

That means you can't show up passively. You can't just be there to hear what gets decided. You have to be there to help make the best decision possible.

Think like those SEALs. They weren't thinking, "I hope the leader makes a good choice." They were thinking, "What can I contribute to help us make the best choice together?"

A Word About Remote Teams

If you're on a remote team, show up. Really show up. Keep the focus. Avoid the multitasking. Turn your phone off. Get dressed like you're walking into the literal executive meeting room on the top floor.

The goal is to have engaged conversations with your team making decisions that either advance the mission or stall it out. That requires your full presence.

Strategic decisions deserve your full attention, whether you're in person or on a screen.

Why This Matters for Your Career

When you consistently show up this way—prepared, thoughtful, engaged—leaders notice. They start seeing you as someone who can handle bigger responsibilities, bigger decisions, bigger challenges.

This is how you earn your spot at tables where important decisions are made. Not because of your title, but because of how you contribute. Not because of your seniority, but because of the value you add to the decision-making process.

Leaders are looking for people who can think strategically, who can handle conflict constructively, who can commit fully to decisions even when they don't get their way. When you demonstrate these qualities consistently, opportunities open up.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Let me paint a picture of what this looks like in a real meeting:

You walk in prepared. You've reviewed the materials, done your research, formed your initial thoughts. When the discussion begins, you contribute your perspective clearly and confidently.

When someone pushes back on your idea, you don't retreat. You explain your reasoning, share your data, help them understand your thinking. But you also listen carefully to their concerns, ask clarifying questions, and genuinely consider whether they're seeing something you missed.

The discussion gets intense. People are passionate about their positions. But it's not personal—it's professional. Everyone's focused on finding the best solution, not winning the argument.

When the decision is finally made, you may not have gotten exactly what you wanted. But you know your voice was heard, your perspective was considered, and the final decision is stronger because of the process. So you commit to it fully.

That's what healthy strategic conflict looks like. And that's the kind of team member every leader wants more of.

Moving Forward

In your next team meeting where strategic decisions are being made, practice these four principles. Come prepared. Defend your thoughts respectfully. Listen deeply. Buy in completely.

Remember those SEALs in the mountains of Afghanistan. They understood that the stakes were too high for anyone to hold back their perspective. The decision was too important for comfort to win over conflict.

Your team's decisions may not be life or death, but they matter. They deserve the same level of engagement, the same commitment to getting it right.

Watch how the quality of your team's decisions improves when everyone operates this way. Watch how the respect for your contributions grows when you show up as a strategic thinker rather than just someone filling a seat.

That's all for today. I'll see you soon.