14 | Guided Visualization Before You Step Into Conflict

Read the lesson.

Struggling with preparing to engage in conflict? visualization to help prepare you for conflict.

If athletes practice visualization for peak performance,

can that apply to other skill sets we need in important life moments?

Like, for instance, preparing to engage in conflict?

Let's give it a go.

Take a few deep breaths. And set your thoughts on the transforming of your mind:

Conflict is healthy.

Conflict leads to more connection.

Conflict is uncomfortable. Yes.

But worth it.

Visualize the moment you got offended.

What happened?

What did you feel?

What about what happened made you feel that way?

Put words to the offense.

Now, pay attention to your emotions.

Where are they in your body?

What color are they?

What do they look like?

What are they doing?

Start taking a few deep breaths and watch the emotion go from a 10 of intensity, down a notch to a 9.

Get creative. Did it cool off? Did it get smaller?

Keep breathing. And keep knocking that emotion down a few notches.

But not all the way.

You don’t want to make it go away all-together.

Emotions are important. We just don’t need them controlling your actions.

Just down to about a 5 or 6.

Now visualize starting a conversation with the person you need to clear the air with. But before we go there.

Think of one positive thing about them.

Really identify something about WHO they are. Their character.

That you truly appreciate.

Give your mind a minute to honor who they are as a person.

Now picture yourself stepping into a conversation with them with that piece of honor still fresh in your mind.

This is going to be a face-to-face conversation. Where connection has its best chance.

1-1. No one else is involved.

Visualize you starting with an open-ended question.

So you're not going to go in accusing, blaming, talking at them.

No, you're going to go in neutral and curious, starting with a question.

Something like “Hey when this happened, can you tell me more ___?”

Visualize yourself listening. Asking another question.

Visualize yourself relaxing a bit. Asking another question.

Staying curious. Really seeing if there's something that you can find out that you didn't know.

Now, visualize yourself talking.

Sharing.

Explaining to that person what your perspective was.

And visualize them seeing you.

Listening.

Understanding.

No walls of defense are up. A really great conversation happening.

Now, imagine what it feels like.

Connection.

Connection that had decreased a bit is starting to come back.

Trust is coming back.

Understanding increasing.

It feels like the essence of team is returning.

Respect is filling the room again.

Safety, hope, confidence is returning.

Take another few breaths.

Now, you can't control how the other person is going to respond.

But you can control how you approach them.

Your mind and heart are ready.

You're ready to step into conflict.