7 | Is Camaraderie Needed in a Culture of Honor?

Welcome back. Today we’re going to go high level and start seeing the bigger picture forming of culture of honor.

These first three tactics (or rather practices - that’s actually a better word to use) These 3 practices of 1. honor, 2. camaraderie and 3. conflict - all combine together create a foundation of culture of honor.

In other words, when you yourself, practice these three actions (honor who people are, building camaraderie and embracing healthy conflict) you will create that unshakable culture of honor around you.

When others around you, lets say your family or teammates or colleagues or friends, start practicing these 3 actions daily - you will form a larger foundation of culture of honor.

Culture is created by behaviors and actions. How we do things, how we operate, how we interact creates our culture. And our actions are informed by how we think, what we believe to be true of who we are.

So, we’re talking a lot about new ways of thinking in terms of honor, camaraderie, conflict, and that’s where it starts - in our mind. But the magic doesn’t happen until these concepts start living out in action, in what we do.

Commit to these three actions daily and consistently and you are becoming a leader building unshakable team culture.

Last month we spoke about honor.

This month we’re speaking about camaraderie.

And next month we’re diving into healthy conflict.

Here’s an interesting point I’ve discovered: all three need each other.

A team with all three is a team whose language sounds like: Hey, we’re not perfect, But man are we aiming high in terms of how we function together and boy are we going after something big together.

Let me ask you something... Have you ever been part of a team where you felt completely seen for who you are, deeply connected to the people around you, and fired up about what you were building together?

That feeling—that magical intersection of being valued as a person while creating something meaningful together—that's what happens when honor and camaraderie come together.

Here's the thing about honor: It's absolutely essential, but honor is not enough on its own.

When we talk about honor, we're talking about recognizing the worth in each person. Treating people with dignity. Seeing them as humans, not just resources or job titles.

However, honor without camaraderie can feel... incomplete.

Honor says, "I see who you are." Camaraderie says, "Let's go build something and have a blast doing it together.”

I’m reading a book right now called Tribal Leadership and one of the leaders the book references is a Fortune 100 CEO who founded his company by first bringing together his closest relationships, and then figuring out the company to build.

What I found interesting was his closest friends were more comrades, than friends.

Meaning they weren’t just connected relationally. They all shared a similar passion or mission towards design.

When they came together to form a company the culture of camaraderie came naturally to them.

Their mission was centered around innovative design and we can thank them for iterative designs like some of the best desk chairs you can find, the stand up toothepaste tube, Apple’s first mouse, etc.

And now some thirty years later, 8 out of the 9 founding team members are still there with a team of close to 500 people.

This is a team that had the foundation of honor towards one another. They respected each other, cared for each other, and then out of their commitment to collaboratively working together, they still have and are pursuing an exciting mission together.

Think about the teams you've loved being part of. What made them special wasn't just that people respected each other. It was that mix of real relationships and shared purpose that made you want to show up every day.

The Transformation

Here's what happens when people experience both honor and camaraderie: They bring their whole self to work. Not just their job skills, but their creativity, their honest questions, their unique perspective.

They bring their character, their personality, WHO they are AND WHAT they do!

I've done this work with my own teams. When people know they won't be diminished for making a mistake AND they feel that sense of "we're in this together," something shifts. They move from just doing their job to truly caring about the work and the people doing it alongside them.

And from their, the best ideas emerge. Problems get solved faster. Innovation happens more naturally. And people show up to the mission ready to go above and beyond.

The Reality Check

Let's be honest—building this kind of culture isn't always easy. It takes more time up front. It means sometimes having conversations that would be easier to avoid. It requires leaders who are willing to be teammates, not just bosses.

But the payoff is extraordinary.

What People Actually Want

Because the truth is, your team doesn't just want to be respected—though that's vital. They want to belong to something. They want to matter to the people they work with. They want to build something meaningful alongside people they genuinely care about.

They want honor AND camaraderie.

They do want to be valued for who they are as people,

AND they want to contribute to a purpose.

They want to be relied on.

They want to be asked of.

They want to matter.

Here’s a pattern I’m noticing for us to be aware of:

The drift of “you do you” language in the world and “easing up” on those we lead can easily drift into a culture where people aren’t being asked of, they aren’t being relied on, and as a consequence, don’t actually feel like they matter, don’t feel they’re bringing value, don’t feel that healthy pressure of being relied on and asked of.

Which leads to the ever diminishing sense of belonging.

“Yeah sure take another week off.”

“Absolutely - that’s okay you didn’t get that project in on time. No worries.”

This type of language is what I’m hearing more and more often amongst leaders and teams.

This language reinforces the fact that “We don’t need you.” It reinforces the belief that lack of delivery, presence, performance doesn’t impact anyone.

And this is where the essence of team gets lost.

When we justify and support, even encourage, mindset geared around supporting the individual, sometimes we can allow that to negatively impact the collective team.

Comrades rely on one another. They have each other’s back.

If one teammate doesn’t show up for the group, the entire group is impacted.

So here’s some language I used with a younger leader recently.

And I spent about a day trying to figure out this response.

The default reaction to just get frustrated with younger leaders is not an option for us.

This is the next generation. It’s our responsibility to figure out how to connect with them, lead them, motivate them, rally them.

Here’s an example that just happened.

One of the younger leaders I work with asked if she could take a week off later this year.

At our company we don’t track hours. We reinforce clarity of mission and priorities and getting your priorities through the finish line. We reinforce how we show up, how we deliver, how we come in prepared and how we finish well.

But I was missing a key component to clarifying how we approach time off.

And that’s the reality of team work.

My response initially to her was you’ve already taken two weeks off this year. We take a big break over Christmas holidays, and adding this entire week is pushing the line. How about take half days?

She responded well but still asked for more clarity on why she couldn’t take this week off.

At first, I felt my blood pressure increasing.

But I had the thought that for her this is a genuine question. Obviously, we have two unique ways of thinking about work. So what part of my brain does she not understand . . . yet. (key word = yet)

I went on a walk and processed through it a bit and realized it’s less about getting the work done and counting hours. What I hadn’t communicated to her is that when she’s out for an entire week, that option to work collaboratively with her is gone. What I needed to convey to her was more of the importance of her presence. When she’s gone for an entire week, it’s missed. Not just her deliverables. But her presence, her dialogue, what she brings to meetings, the collaborative value she brings to projects.

I called her up and shared this with her and hopefully nudged her understanding 1% in the direction of her value not just as an employee performing tasks, but as a valued member of our collective team.

We talked through the option of half days providing her the ability to attend our internal meetings, keep a pulse with the team and still have most of her day to “clock out” if you will.

I told her: “I know you want a policy on time off that provides a clear line that you know not to cross. I’m not going to do that. We’re going to be a team that is aligned in our values, our mission and our strategy and makes informed decisions on how we show up. I’d love for our working relationship to involve trust. I’ve shared with you how I approach time off in light of the team and collaborative working time. I’m placing my trust in you to make decisions in alignment with that. How’s that sound?”

Rules, red tape and regulations are needed when there’s lack of alignment and trust.

When we build cultures of honor - where team members are bought in, there’s enough alignment to not require all that energy on paperwork, rules, tracking.

The Missing Piece

When we don't have a foundation of honor and a growing sense of camaraderie, healthy conflict can't happen. Think about it—you can't have those tough, necessary conversations without the relational foundation that says, "We're in this together, even when we disagree."

Honor creates the safety. Camaraderie brings it to life. And together, they make space for the kind of honest dialogue that actually moves teams forward - which is healthy conflict.

The Vision

Let’s bring it back to you: As you head back to your teams, remember this isn't just about creating a pleasant place to work. This is about unlocking the full potential of every person who works with you.

This is about building the kind of team that people look back on years later and say, "That experience changed me. I did some of my best work there. I became more myself there."

And here’s the biggest marker that we as builders of unshakable teams can look for: If I hear her language shift more from “me” to “we” - I’ll know we’re heading in the right direction.

The Hunger

Your team is hungry for this kind of culture. Your customers will benefit from the energy and creativity it releases. And you, as a leader, will discover that leading this kind of team isn't just more effective—it's more fulfilling.

Closing - The Formula

Honor creates the safety. Camaraderie brings it to life. Together, they create workplaces where people thrive and great work happens.

That's the culture your mission and people deserves. That's the culture you can build.

The question isn't whether this is possible for your team—it is. The question is whether you're willing to do the daily work of building both honor and camaraderie, even when it's inconvenient, even when it takes longer, even when it requires you to be more human than you planned.

Because when you do, you'll discover that you haven't just built a better team—you've created something people will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

That's all for today. I'll see you soon.