21 | Leading a Remote Team?

Welcome back. Today we’re going to talk about remote work teams.

let’s start with this: Camaraderie unlocks team performance. when people feel safe, they walk into a room thinking not about themselves but others and the mission.

Have you ever heard of Simon Sinek?

Simon Sinek's Circle of Safety is a powerful concept from his book "Leaders Eat Last" that describes how great leaders create environments where team members feel protected and can thrive.

The Circle of Safety is based on the idea that humans evolved to survive in groups where trust and cooperation were essential. When we feel safe within our group, we can focus our energy on innovation, problem-solving, and facing external challenges rather than protecting ourselves from internal threats.

Key aspects of the Circle of Safety include:

1. Trust and psychological safety - When people feel secure, they're more willing to take risks, share ideas, and admit mistakes without fear of ridicule or punishment.

2. Protection from external threats - Leaders create a boundary that shields team members from outside dangers, allowing them to focus on their work.

3. Inclusive leadership - Everyone inside the circle is valued and protected, regardless of rank or status.

4. Oxytocin-driven cooperation - Sinek ties the concept to biology, noting that feelings of safety trigger oxytocin release, promoting trust and cooperation.

When the Circle of Safety is strong, organizations tend to have higher engagement, loyalty, innovation, and resilience. Conversely, when people feel unsafe (excluded from the circle), they become defensive, self-protective, and less collaborative.

Here's a few practical tips you can begin to practice that work for both in person and remote work teams:

Start a weekly rhythm where you openly share a recent mistake you made, what you learned from it, and then ask: "What's one challenge you're facing this week that I can help you remove?"

Why this works:

When you voluntarily share your own mistake first, you immediately build psychological safety. You're showing vulnerability, which signals to others it's safe to do the same. You're modeling that mistakes aren't career-enders here - they're learning opportunities.

By asking about challenges and offering to remove obstacles, you're positioning yourself at the boundary of the circle - ready to protect your team from external threats that might prevent their success.

This simple question creates inclusive leadership because you're inviting input from everyone, regardless of rank or status. You're demonstrating that everyone's challenges matter.

And finally, this kind of authentic exchange triggers oxytocin release. When people see you genuinely wanting to help them succeed, it creates connection and cooperation naturally.

The power isn't in making this a one-time event. The power is in the consistency. Do this every Monday, and watch how your team starts to transform.

They'll begin bringing challenges to you earlier. They'll start admitting mistakes more readily. They'll begin helping each other without prompting.

Remember, building a Circle of Safety isn't about grand gestures. It's about these consistent signals that create a new pattern of safety.

It's about showing your team that you have their backs.

One thing I will say about you helping remove obstacles for them, is remembering the “choose your role” mindset. Remember we’re building comrades here. Comrades figure out problems together. Heroes come in a figure out the problem by themselves. You are not their hero. They are on your team to play a role, to contribute, to carry weight. Make sure you’re not coming in to save the day every week. You’re coming in every week to come alongside them. Very different culture set this way. Comrades work side by side. It’s almost like your aim is to be a great teammate instead of being a great leader.

2. Protection from External Threats

Identify one bureaucratic process, unreasonable deadline, or resource constraint that's causing your team stress, and publicly commit to resolving it or buffering your team from it.

Why this works: Leaders create safety when they actively absorb or deflect external pressures rather than simply passing them down. This shows you're willing to stand between your team and the forces that make their work harder.

3. Inclusive Leadership

Create a "reverse mentoring" pairing with someone junior on your team. Meet for 30 minutes where they teach you something they know that you don't, regardless of how relevant it seems to current work.

Why this works: This flips the traditional power dynamic and signals that everyone has valuable contributions regardless of rank or tenure. It demonstrates that the circle includes everyone.

4. Oxytocin-Driven Cooperation

Action Step: Implement a "caught doing something right" moment at the end of team gatherings, where you or team members acknowledge specific helpful actions others have taken.

Why this works: Public recognition of cooperation releases oxytocin for both the giver and receiver, reinforcing the biological rewards of helping each other. This creates a positive feedback loop of supportive behaviors.

Remember, the power of these actions isn't in doing them once. The power is in consistency and authenticity. These aren't techniques - they're commitments to a different way of leading.

It's about creating an environment, even for remote teams, that sees people just as much as the mission.

That's your action plan for building a stronger Circle of Safety. Okay, that’s all for today. ll see you soon.