12 | You Were Designed for Camaraderie

Welcome back.

You know that feeling. You're in a room full of people, but you don't really know anyone. And even if you did, you're not sure what you're all there for anyway. It's the dreaded "high school reunion" vibe - awkward, forced, going nowhere.

If you find yourself here - in that bottom left quadrant of low mission and low relationship - I want you to know something first: this isn't your fault, and it's not permanent.

Here's what I've learned: we were designed for connection and purpose. That restless, uncomfortable feeling you have when you're stuck in that bottom left? That's not a character flaw. That's your soul recognizing that you're not operating the way you were meant to operate.

Think about the moments in your life when you felt most alive, most engaged, most like yourself. I bet they weren't solitary achievements. They were moments when you were part of something bigger than yourself, surrounded by people who knew you and chose to pursue that bigger thing alongside you.

That longing you feel? That's design, not dysfunction.

And here's the good news: the path forward is simpler than you think.

Start Where You're Gifted

The secret isn't trying to fix everything at once. The secret is self-awareness. Know how you're wired, then start there.

If You're Mission-Driven: Start with Purpose

You're going to feel more connected when you share a purpose with someone. And here's the thing - that doesn't need to be some grand mission trip to the Dominican Republic.

Purpose is forward movement. A shared aim. Not necessarily just a shared result.

I feel a sense of mission with other leaders who are looking to grow their character. We're not on the same exact mission - we're with different companies, different challenges - but my friend Lauren and I are both committed to personal growth and building unshakable team culture. Our aim is the same.

We find camaraderie in that sense of shared purpose even when we're just hanging out over a charcuterie board, because we're both moving in the same direction. We're both asking the same questions: How do we grow? How do we build something that matters?

Your starting point: Look for people who share your curiosity, your growth areas, your forward movement. Start conversations around what you're learning, how you're developing, what you're working toward.

If You're Relationship-Driven: Start with Connection

You're wired to connect with people. That's your gift. Lead with it.

Ask how someone's really doing - and actually listen to the answer. Remember personal details. Create space for people to be known and seen.

Your starting point: Be genuinely curious about the people around you. Start with authentic connection, real questions, genuine care.

But here's the key - that's your starting point, not your stopping point. Remember, we're aiming for camaraderie, which means you'll eventually need to add the mission piece. But you know where to begin.

The Natural Progression

Here's what's beautiful about starting where you're gifted: momentum builds naturally.

Mission people: When you start connecting with others around shared purpose - even simple things like mutual growth or learning - relationship begins to develop organically. You're working toward something together, which creates natural opportunities to get to know each other as people.

Relationship people: When you start genuinely connecting with others, you naturally begin to discover what matters to them, what they're working toward, what they care about. This creates natural entry points to shared mission.

Why This Works

We were designed for both mission and relationship. When you start with one and build toward the other, you're working with your natural wiring, not against it.

You're not trying to become someone else. You're leveraging your strengths to build toward something complete.

Mission-driven leaders: You don't have to become touchy-feely. You just need to let the relationships develop as you pursue shared aims with people.

Relationship-driven leaders: You don't have to become a hard-charging mission machine. You just need to help the people you connect with discover what you're building together.

Your Next Step

Pick one:

If you're mission-driven: This week, start one conversation about what you're learning, growing toward, or working on. Find someone who shares that forward movement and lean into that shared purpose.

If you're relationship-driven: This week, have one genuine conversation where you get to know someone beyond the surface level. Ask real questions and create space for real connection.

Then, once you get some momentum, start building the other side.

The Goal

We're not trying to get you stuck in mission without relationship, or relationship without mission. We're using your natural gifting as the entry point to build toward true camaraderie - where you know people deeply AND you're united around something meaningful.

That's where we were designed to function.

That's where teams become unstoppable.

That's where life becomes worth living.

The path out of the bottom left starts with one step in the direction of your gifting. Take it.

You Were Made for This

Here's what I want you to remember as you take that first step: you're not trying to become someone you're not. You're becoming who you were always meant to be.

We were designed for camaraderie - for deep relationships and meaningful purpose working together. When you start moving in that direction, even with one small step, you're aligning with something fundamental about how you're wired.

That awkward, disconnected feeling starts to fade. That sense of "what's the point?" begins to transform into "this is why I'm here."

You were made for team. You were made for relationships that fuel purpose and purpose that deepens relationships.

On that note, that’s all for today. I’ll see you soon.